Hey all. I really wasn't getting anything out of writing for a while. Much more enjoyable (and stress relieving) to do other things. But then I realized that I'm a much more interesting person when I practice letting the silly/crazy ideas out of my head, and since few people in the real world listen (and even fewer archive them in a remote location for future reference), I'm going to try to get back into the habit. The tendonitis from how often I'm behind the mouse is definitely not going to make this easy, but whatever.
For starters, I wanted to share this fairly popular web image (perhaps a photoshop, perhaps not) with people.
I used to believe that old NRA slogan, that "guns don't kill people, people kill people". I did this because there are many harmful inventions and substances out there, and in communities where there are predominantly good, moral, responsible people, weapons of all sorts can be held without fear of crime or violence. I still believe that legislating to fill the void of personal responsibility in this country is doomed to fail, no matter what subject we are talking about.
But yeah, I also used to think there was nothing implicitly evil about guns. A gun is a device made of metal. It has no intention. If someone really doesn't want to ever shoot a gun, they could logically use it as a paperweight or something.
Then I saw this picture. The feeling I got the split second I saw it proved me wrong. Inanimate objects do have "intentions". Maybe you'll get the same feeling when you click it.
(It's a safe picture, no gore or violence, or anything gross or wrong. It is a picture of a gun, sitting on a table, and nothing more - I swear)
http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/9418/gun20for20suicideon8.jpg
If the image expires, just use google to find a "suicide gun" and click "images" on the upper left of the screen, next to "Web".
So as I was saying. Personal responsibility, and decency? Still at the heart of the matter. But clearly, there are some devices we almost wish we could uninvent. Some machines are just evil.
August 21, 2008
June 18, 2007
Fantastic Four: Two....Six... Twelve... Hut Hut Hike.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer opened recently. While I thought the first movie seemed to be exactly the kind of movie that might kill the comic-book-blockbuster genre (I didn't see it, but everything I read about after release confirmed what I thought about the movie before release). Bad casting, cheezy writing, very canned character development. Basically, the hollywood formula taken to it's most boring and predictable.
(Oh, I'm gonna start spouting off spoilers, so consider yourself warned.)
Despite that, I really, really love Silver Surfer as a character, and I want to see him made into a modern-day comic icon along the lines of Wolverine and perhaps Magneto. I don't think he'll ever have the staying power of Superman or Spidey, but hey, it would be nice.
The sequel was about as much as I expected. I have to say, Jessica Alba really seems to be developing as an actress - I don't think it is fair to classify her as a typical "only a pretty face" actress. I mean, she's no Merryl Streep. But she's no Paris Hilton either. I'd put her up there with Mark Wahlberg. Their striking appearance got their foot in the door, but with alot of effort, they are both genuinely average actors, which is just a tremendous improvement from where they were at the beginning of their acting career.
Anyway, enough about Alba, because despite that earlier praise, her inabilty to carry the Sue Storm character was a movie killer. Almost as bad as the unbelievably overdone and predictable personal problems the characters had. So pretty much every scene that was only the four was pretty damn boring, despite fair quips. The guy who played the Torch was good. Chiklas was very good. The guy playing Reed Richards wasn't terrible, which is what I thought he'd be.
And of course, there was The Surfer. They handled the first encounters fairly well. I liked that he had very few lines. It was extremely lame for something as harmless as a tachyon pulse to affect The Surfer in any way, but since he's grown in power so much in comics, they'd have a hard time finding anything Richards could build to affect him. Surfer is more powerful than Superman in every way. And he has no kryptonite.
Galactus was handled horribly, but again, as a writer, it's very tough to tell that story without making it too smart and long for most audiences. No one ever "defeats" Galactus, really. They just fend him off, and make him realize that eating Earth wouldn't be worth the energy he'd have to expend to overcome it's defenses. In modern Marvel, Galactus is as he should be - a world ending force of the universe that absolutely everyone has to rise up to fend off. So Surfer shouldn't have "killed" him. I'm glad they were able to get Doom involved, but it is sad when they have to totally halt his development, and give him screen time in such small, dull doses.
All in all, I'd give it a 5. Somewhere in the average-mediocre neighborhood. Still, there is a chance that a Surfer offshoot project might be interesting, but it sure as hell couldn't include the writers or directors from this one. Maybe call the guys who did the new TNMT, get them good and high, let them watch some Joseph Campbell or Stark Trek: TNG, and let them go wild.
February 12, 2007
From a Titan's Birth to CCP's Folly.
Man, oh man. EVE-Online never ceases to amaze me. Talk about an interactive, immersive world. I am compelled to recount my experiences on this blog, even though I swore to myself not to add to it until I can finish my CSS facelift of it (because I hate this white/green/beige crap).
This article will remain unfinished, and in flux until otherwise stated. Sources are being dug through, and will be referenced where mentioned. Since forums read as reliably as hearsay, expect the finer details to occasionally be inaccurate, but I will continuously add to the pieces accuracy.
While the main point of this article (possibly to be divided into many posts) is to report on the recent scandal between CCP and their most powerful in-game alliance (or clan), I have decided to start my reporting much earlier, with the big event that first captivated me. I do this because (1) it thoroughly involves BoB (the powerful corp), and (2) to share the "reliving" of these events with other noobs like myself who haven't had the opportunity to scour the forums like myself.
I first joined EVE about a week or two before "The Steve" was completed. The Steve was the first Titan to be constructed. Titans are the largest ship in the game (also, about as large a ship as you can imagine. It takes considerable time to fly from end to end, even in a fast ship). The first titan was more than just a physical mobile (but barely) landmark. It was also a political one. The Steve was built by Ascendant Frontier (ASCN), the largest alliance in game. Not only was ASCN the biggest and probably the richest - they were so many times over (I have heard estimates of them being 2-5 times larger than the second largest alliance). Upon it's completion, ASCN bragged of not only a superior mining and crafting effort, but also an elaborate system of decoys and feints to mislead the saboteurs of other competing alliances.
This, by the way is about where I got hooked into the player driven political saga.
About a week or two later, war was declared on ASCN. Their new pride and joy would have to prove itself as a tactical advantage, as it immediately demonstrated itself as a bullseye. Who would declare on the biggest alliance around right after they built a ship with unprecedented firepower?
That would be Band of Brothers (BoB). Their reputation was that of the most highly skilled and organized of the alliances. Number-crunchers to the extreme, their fleets had won two consecutive Alliances Invitational Tournaments (I can't remember the real name, sue me). This was a war between the biggest, and seemingly the fiercest. And the fiercest was outnumbered big time. This was quite possibly, the most interesting, highest-staked war in the game history. So basically, I signed up at an interesting time.
Most wars take months. Big wars can go on for half a year or more. This one took only two months. The largest and richest alliance in game history was swept under the rug in only two months by an alliance a fraction of it's size. That is about as fast as you can move that many ships through space that vast - uncontested. BoB hadn't lost a single battle. The last days of the Pendulum War (capped off by a 3rd, and near flawless victory at the Alliance Tournament) were incredibly eventful. First, The Steve was destroyed, and in controversial fashion. CYVOK, leader of ASCN and arguably the games most brilliant architect of player controlled space, was ambushed by BoB while transporting the Steve. He was alone, or virtually alone. Losing the encounter, CYVOK was able to run, and save his multi-billion, multi-year long investment, by warping into the confines of unlabeled space.
There is in place a game mechanic to deter people from running from every conflict by simply logging off. A timer ticks after your first (and last) shot fired, or shot fired upon you. If you logout for any reason before that 15 minute timer ends, you ship does not simply vanish like it would in most games. It (eventually) automatically warps to a random point in space. Now whether or not CYVOK's computer crashed, or whether he was unfamiliar with the rule cannot be proven. Regardless, BoB hunted down the totally unresponsive Steve in it's random point in space, and killed it. Over a thousand helping hands built it, over a year from start to finish.... lasted about a month.
Then, as a result of in, and out of game frustration, CYVOK resigned, and left the game. The alliance couldn't defend a single system in wake of the BoB hordes, and ASCN was not only defeated, but totally dissolved.
The enormity of the talent, experience, and bank accounts of these people cannot be appreciated unless you've played MMO's for some time. But just to give you an idea, For the month the Steve was intact, it's estimated real life value was around $14000 USD.
The month after the Pendulum War was fairly quiet - or at least back to normal. Powerful alliances still warred with one another, but nothing as epic in scale as the ASCN-BoB Pendulum War, which affected roughly 1/3rd to 1/2 of the PVP starscape (as well as many of the more prosperous systems). This was to be expected, BoB's new empire posed many of the internal difficulties any empire must face when they annex massive amounts of territory. They had won it, now they had to figure out how to run it.
Then last week, BoB (seemingly from out of nowhere) declared war on another strong alliance - one that was already entrenched in a bitter war of its own. So three of the top five corps in the game were mixed into one awkward war. Players had wondered whether it was possible for one alliance to rule all of space. It seemed BoB would be closer to achieving this goal than any who had come before, and with the power they had amassed at the fall of ASCN, they might be virtually unstoppable. This was one reason that virtually all of the big alliances began to take sides in this war. But there was also another reason.
One of the alliances opposed to BoB in this great, as-of-yet-unnamed conflagration was Goonswarm. One of their members hacked into BoB's forums (among other things), and began to suspect foulplay on the part of the game developers. Long before BoB dismantled ASCN, they were accused of being on the favorable side of far too many coincidences. Most of these accusations are commonly hurled at any clan who dominates the competition in any online game. Most were without merit, and all where without proof. Until Kugutsumen of Goonswarm was able to find the proof.
While he found many correlations a bit too disquieting to be dismissed as mere coincidence, he apparently found cold hard fact in that a developers account had generated blueprints for BoB. After hundreds of posts demanding an explanation, CCP made two official statements about the allegations. One was an apology from the dev himself (T20 - same guy who wasn't able to get character portraits on the forums for months. Instead we had exclamation marks.), and the other was an apology from the CCP CEO, as well as some of the particulars of T20's transgressions.
What was clear was that one person had broken the rules. But everything was far from cleared up. For one, Kugutsumen, the whistleblower had been banned. And even though his accusations had been confirmed by all sources, his ban remained in place - since he hacked, and divulged personal information.
Interestingly enough, when SirMolle, leader of BoB had fought back in a previous forum post by doing the same to Kugutsumen, this was completely overlooked.
Additionally, the blueprints that had been confirmed as illegally given to BoB were comparatively cheap. It makes little sense that a developer would risk his job to experiment or donate items this inconsequential. There had been incidents in the past where CCP employees where terminated when they improperly involved themselves in the game. However, in this - the most agregious of cases thus far, CCP would claim that the events were too long ago, and that a less severe punishment had already been administered in house. As of now, T20 will keep his job.
Certainly, this only makes the CCP BoB connection seem that much stronger. Added to the fact that, according to CCP, these transgressions had been discovered months before The Pendulum War, and dealt with behind closed doors (it took Kugutsumen's evidence to turn their story around 180 degrees from denial and banning to admission and apologizing), and it is clear that if there isn't still in fact blatant bias towards (what has recently become) the most powerful alliance in EvE, then there has been an epicly botched job at smoothing over the appearance of such a bias.
As a result, various prominent veterans are quitting EvE (such as Istvaan Shogaatsu, architect of the Guiding Hand Social Club). Feelings of betrayal are running very high among players who keep up to speed with player politics. Meanwhile, the afore-mentioned BoB War has encompassed anyone who is anyone in PVP alliances. Regardless of whether the actions (or inactions) of BoB is in violation of game code - written or unwritten, what cannot be denied is that they have now provided the powder keg to set the entire galaxy ablaze with war.
This article will remain unfinished, and in flux until otherwise stated. Sources are being dug through, and will be referenced where mentioned. Since forums read as reliably as hearsay, expect the finer details to occasionally be inaccurate, but I will continuously add to the pieces accuracy.
While the main point of this article (possibly to be divided into many posts) is to report on the recent scandal between CCP and their most powerful in-game alliance (or clan), I have decided to start my reporting much earlier, with the big event that first captivated me. I do this because (1) it thoroughly involves BoB (the powerful corp), and (2) to share the "reliving" of these events with other noobs like myself who haven't had the opportunity to scour the forums like myself.
I first joined EVE about a week or two before "The Steve" was completed. The Steve was the first Titan to be constructed. Titans are the largest ship in the game (also, about as large a ship as you can imagine. It takes considerable time to fly from end to end, even in a fast ship). The first titan was more than just a physical mobile (but barely) landmark. It was also a political one. The Steve was built by Ascendant Frontier (ASCN), the largest alliance in game. Not only was ASCN the biggest and probably the richest - they were so many times over (I have heard estimates of them being 2-5 times larger than the second largest alliance). Upon it's completion, ASCN bragged of not only a superior mining and crafting effort, but also an elaborate system of decoys and feints to mislead the saboteurs of other competing alliances.
This, by the way is about where I got hooked into the player driven political saga.
About a week or two later, war was declared on ASCN. Their new pride and joy would have to prove itself as a tactical advantage, as it immediately demonstrated itself as a bullseye. Who would declare on the biggest alliance around right after they built a ship with unprecedented firepower?
That would be Band of Brothers (BoB). Their reputation was that of the most highly skilled and organized of the alliances. Number-crunchers to the extreme, their fleets had won two consecutive Alliances Invitational Tournaments (I can't remember the real name, sue me). This was a war between the biggest, and seemingly the fiercest. And the fiercest was outnumbered big time. This was quite possibly, the most interesting, highest-staked war in the game history. So basically, I signed up at an interesting time.
Most wars take months. Big wars can go on for half a year or more. This one took only two months. The largest and richest alliance in game history was swept under the rug in only two months by an alliance a fraction of it's size. That is about as fast as you can move that many ships through space that vast - uncontested. BoB hadn't lost a single battle. The last days of the Pendulum War (capped off by a 3rd, and near flawless victory at the Alliance Tournament) were incredibly eventful. First, The Steve was destroyed, and in controversial fashion. CYVOK, leader of ASCN and arguably the games most brilliant architect of player controlled space, was ambushed by BoB while transporting the Steve. He was alone, or virtually alone. Losing the encounter, CYVOK was able to run, and save his multi-billion, multi-year long investment, by warping into the confines of unlabeled space.
There is in place a game mechanic to deter people from running from every conflict by simply logging off. A timer ticks after your first (and last) shot fired, or shot fired upon you. If you logout for any reason before that 15 minute timer ends, you ship does not simply vanish like it would in most games. It (eventually) automatically warps to a random point in space. Now whether or not CYVOK's computer crashed, or whether he was unfamiliar with the rule cannot be proven. Regardless, BoB hunted down the totally unresponsive Steve in it's random point in space, and killed it. Over a thousand helping hands built it, over a year from start to finish.... lasted about a month.
Then, as a result of in, and out of game frustration, CYVOK resigned, and left the game. The alliance couldn't defend a single system in wake of the BoB hordes, and ASCN was not only defeated, but totally dissolved.
The enormity of the talent, experience, and bank accounts of these people cannot be appreciated unless you've played MMO's for some time. But just to give you an idea, For the month the Steve was intact, it's estimated real life value was around $14000 USD.
The month after the Pendulum War was fairly quiet - or at least back to normal. Powerful alliances still warred with one another, but nothing as epic in scale as the ASCN-BoB Pendulum War, which affected roughly 1/3rd to 1/2 of the PVP starscape (as well as many of the more prosperous systems). This was to be expected, BoB's new empire posed many of the internal difficulties any empire must face when they annex massive amounts of territory. They had won it, now they had to figure out how to run it.
Then last week, BoB (seemingly from out of nowhere) declared war on another strong alliance - one that was already entrenched in a bitter war of its own. So three of the top five corps in the game were mixed into one awkward war. Players had wondered whether it was possible for one alliance to rule all of space. It seemed BoB would be closer to achieving this goal than any who had come before, and with the power they had amassed at the fall of ASCN, they might be virtually unstoppable. This was one reason that virtually all of the big alliances began to take sides in this war. But there was also another reason.
One of the alliances opposed to BoB in this great, as-of-yet-unnamed conflagration was Goonswarm. One of their members hacked into BoB's forums (among other things), and began to suspect foulplay on the part of the game developers. Long before BoB dismantled ASCN, they were accused of being on the favorable side of far too many coincidences. Most of these accusations are commonly hurled at any clan who dominates the competition in any online game. Most were without merit, and all where without proof. Until Kugutsumen of Goonswarm was able to find the proof.
While he found many correlations a bit too disquieting to be dismissed as mere coincidence, he apparently found cold hard fact in that a developers account had generated blueprints for BoB. After hundreds of posts demanding an explanation, CCP made two official statements about the allegations. One was an apology from the dev himself (T20 - same guy who wasn't able to get character portraits on the forums for months. Instead we had exclamation marks.), and the other was an apology from the CCP CEO, as well as some of the particulars of T20's transgressions.
What was clear was that one person had broken the rules. But everything was far from cleared up. For one, Kugutsumen, the whistleblower had been banned. And even though his accusations had been confirmed by all sources, his ban remained in place - since he hacked, and divulged personal information.
Interestingly enough, when SirMolle, leader of BoB had fought back in a previous forum post by doing the same to Kugutsumen, this was completely overlooked.
Additionally, the blueprints that had been confirmed as illegally given to BoB were comparatively cheap. It makes little sense that a developer would risk his job to experiment or donate items this inconsequential. There had been incidents in the past where CCP employees where terminated when they improperly involved themselves in the game. However, in this - the most agregious of cases thus far, CCP would claim that the events were too long ago, and that a less severe punishment had already been administered in house. As of now, T20 will keep his job.
Certainly, this only makes the CCP BoB connection seem that much stronger. Added to the fact that, according to CCP, these transgressions had been discovered months before The Pendulum War, and dealt with behind closed doors (it took Kugutsumen's evidence to turn their story around 180 degrees from denial and banning to admission and apologizing), and it is clear that if there isn't still in fact blatant bias towards (what has recently become) the most powerful alliance in EvE, then there has been an epicly botched job at smoothing over the appearance of such a bias.
As a result, various prominent veterans are quitting EvE (such as Istvaan Shogaatsu, architect of the Guiding Hand Social Club). Feelings of betrayal are running very high among players who keep up to speed with player politics. Meanwhile, the afore-mentioned BoB War has encompassed anyone who is anyone in PVP alliances. Regardless of whether the actions (or inactions) of BoB is in violation of game code - written or unwritten, what cannot be denied is that they have now provided the powder keg to set the entire galaxy ablaze with war.
August 22, 2006
Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
Grrr. Having computer problems. Gonna slow down my blogging frequency, that is for sure. :(
Note to self: Get this when you get home - http://customize.org/wallpapers/50908
Beeeeutiful.
Note to self: Get this when you get home - http://customize.org/wallpapers/50908
Beeeeutiful.
August 14, 2006
Remember The Milford
I'm thinking about starting a system of measurement for how amazed by obscure nostalgia something makes me. On the "Holy Crap!!"-o-meter... this is about an 8 outta 10.
http://x-entertainment.com/updates/entries/archives/00000817.html - The Milford Plaza
I too remember suffering through this commercial, seeing it at least twenty times a year from, Oh, about 1984 to at last as 96 or 97. Seriously, this was a redwood, or giant turtle of commercials. It has been around.
Totally saving this to my HD when I get home. It blew my mind almost as much as that episode of Family Guy when Stewie had to live in the bubble, and he said something along the lines of "You wouldn't believe the day I had". Then they flashback to a parody of a highly dated, Sesame Street animated skit involving some weird seventies pinball machine that sings and teaches children how to count to twelve. Not Ten. Twelve.
1, 2, 3, 4! 5!
6, 7, 8, 9! 10!
11, 12.
That is about the best anyone can recite on the internet. And it is totally google-proof.
Oh, that reminds me. I got a SWEET new motherboard headin my way. Worth = $360, give or take 40. I got it for $199 bitches!!! I'll have the full rundown at the ole' Team Fortress War Room
http://x-entertainment.com/updates/entries/archives/00000817.html - The Milford Plaza
I too remember suffering through this commercial, seeing it at least twenty times a year from, Oh, about 1984 to at last as 96 or 97. Seriously, this was a redwood, or giant turtle of commercials. It has been around.
Totally saving this to my HD when I get home. It blew my mind almost as much as that episode of Family Guy when Stewie had to live in the bubble, and he said something along the lines of "You wouldn't believe the day I had". Then they flashback to a parody of a highly dated, Sesame Street animated skit involving some weird seventies pinball machine that sings and teaches children how to count to twelve. Not Ten. Twelve.
1, 2, 3, 4! 5!
6, 7, 8, 9! 10!
11, 12.
That is about the best anyone can recite on the internet. And it is totally google-proof.
Oh, that reminds me. I got a SWEET new motherboard headin my way. Worth = $360, give or take 40. I got it for $199 bitches!!! I'll have the full rundown at the ole' Team Fortress War Room
August 11, 2006
God, Samuel Jackson is cool.
It should be obvious from the previous post that I'm a big fan of Snakes on a Plane. I love the initial absurd premise. I love the title that Sam Jackson fought for. I love that, as I am fond of saying... "Hollywood's unintentional self-mockery is complete"
And now, thanks to this article, I love Samuel L more than ever. He has officially regained his title of "coolest guy ever" from Laurence Fishburne - something I thought no one would ever be able to do after his portrayal of Morpheus.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1223382-1,00.html
God Bless ya, Sam.
Oh, and why does Google hate my Team Fortress War Room? Like I don't have enough work to do to get people to my blog and clicking my adsense links without it sporadically adding and then erasing my page from its listing.
And now, thanks to this article, I love Samuel L more than ever. He has officially regained his title of "coolest guy ever" from Laurence Fishburne - something I thought no one would ever be able to do after his portrayal of Morpheus.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1223382-1,00.html
God Bless ya, Sam.
Oh, and why does Google hate my Team Fortress War Room? Like I don't have enough work to do to get people to my blog and clicking my adsense links without it sporadically adding and then erasing my page from its listing.
August 09, 2006
I'll take criminals of College Football Fame for 400, Alex.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2544230
ESPN has just been a fountain of amusement for me today (and thank God, because work has sucked).
You know, I understand when a young running back tries to emulate greats of the past... but if Maurice Clarett is trying to pull off his best OJ Simpson impression, he sure skipped alot, since he went from breaking college rushing records DIRECTLY to getting into a huge car chase with the police.
I'm sure Leno will paraphrase me. Again. :)
ESPN has just been a fountain of amusement for me today (and thank God, because work has sucked).
You know, I understand when a young running back tries to emulate greats of the past... but if Maurice Clarett is trying to pull off his best OJ Simpson impression, he sure skipped alot, since he went from breaking college rushing records DIRECTLY to getting into a huge car chase with the police.
I'm sure Leno will paraphrase me. Again. :)
One of the reasons I always make sure I have an online journal of some kind at my disposal is in case I feel compelled to emulate or record the brilliance of Bill Simmons. He is simply the funniest writer I've ever read - no exaggeration. The way he brings such irrelevant subjects into his "sports" column is just wonderful. Here is a great point of his that I wish to take a bit further.
Q: Are you aware that T-Mobile offers a ringtone that's the radio call of the Red Sox winning the World Series? Please try to stay on top of things, seriously.
-- Ben, D.C.
Simmons: In the words of Johnny Carson, I did not know that! That's wild! That's wild, wacky stuff! But I'm glad you brought this up -- I can't wait for the day when everything is available as a ringtone. And I mean, EVERYTHING. I want to download a ringtone of Cosell screaming, "Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!" for 30 straight seconds. Can we make this happen, People In Charge Of Coming Up With Ringtones? Please?
Not only is it ludicrous how many things are being used as ringtones... but I LOVE the idea of having particularly irritating ringtones at my disposal. To me, a phone is supposed to sound like a phone! Not like someone accidently sat on the play button of your CD player with the volume turned up all the way.
Now don't get me wrong. Being a huge wrestling fan, I'm love entrance music. I feel society should embrace entrance music for most people and most occasions. When I come into work, I want to hear "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley accompany my entrance, and I want everyone else to hear it too. But there is a vast difference between going "Oh, someone new is here", and "Oh, someone has a phone call". Do you greet people for having a phone call? No, because it is generally not a worthwhile event to acknowledge. If anything, a phone call is a brief, inconveniant, often rude occurance. And this is what people are blasting their crappy music about.
So here is my solution. I'm going to find the inspector gadget theme. Not the most annoying song, but it will do the job for the purposes of this example. I'm going splice out all but the first five seconds. And then it is going to loop. It is just going to be the "Dum Da-Dum Da-Dum - INSPECTOR GADGET"... and then immediately do it again. No high notes. No "Go-Gadget-Go". Just the same ten notes... over and over again. And I'll save this for when I am with annoying phone girls - lets face it, there is a serious gender issue with this flavor of stupidity. And I'll let it ring, and ring and ring. As long as I can before answering it. That way that jingle gets stuck in their heads. And believe me, I've tortured people by playing just that part of the song on the piano... truly a sadistic method of torture. Like acid (the chemical type, OR the drug now that I think about it), the damage lingers over time. :)
Q: Are you aware that T-Mobile offers a ringtone that's the radio call of the Red Sox winning the World Series? Please try to stay on top of things, seriously.
-- Ben, D.C.
Simmons: In the words of Johnny Carson, I did not know that! That's wild! That's wild, wacky stuff! But I'm glad you brought this up -- I can't wait for the day when everything is available as a ringtone. And I mean, EVERYTHING. I want to download a ringtone of Cosell screaming, "Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!" for 30 straight seconds. Can we make this happen, People In Charge Of Coming Up With Ringtones? Please?
Not only is it ludicrous how many things are being used as ringtones... but I LOVE the idea of having particularly irritating ringtones at my disposal. To me, a phone is supposed to sound like a phone! Not like someone accidently sat on the play button of your CD player with the volume turned up all the way.
Now don't get me wrong. Being a huge wrestling fan, I'm love entrance music. I feel society should embrace entrance music for most people and most occasions. When I come into work, I want to hear "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley accompany my entrance, and I want everyone else to hear it too. But there is a vast difference between going "Oh, someone new is here", and "Oh, someone has a phone call". Do you greet people for having a phone call? No, because it is generally not a worthwhile event to acknowledge. If anything, a phone call is a brief, inconveniant, often rude occurance. And this is what people are blasting their crappy music about.
So here is my solution. I'm going to find the inspector gadget theme. Not the most annoying song, but it will do the job for the purposes of this example. I'm going splice out all but the first five seconds. And then it is going to loop. It is just going to be the "Dum Da-Dum Da-Dum - INSPECTOR GADGET"... and then immediately do it again. No high notes. No "Go-Gadget-Go". Just the same ten notes... over and over again. And I'll save this for when I am with annoying phone girls - lets face it, there is a serious gender issue with this flavor of stupidity. And I'll let it ring, and ring and ring. As long as I can before answering it. That way that jingle gets stuck in their heads. And believe me, I've tortured people by playing just that part of the song on the piano... truly a sadistic method of torture. Like acid (the chemical type, OR the drug now that I think about it), the damage lingers over time. :)
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